YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH

Sometimes things are not always what they appear to be, you may see someone who seems like they have it all together, picture-perfect lifestyle, beautiful life and family, smiling and yet it can be far from what it is. Don’t compare yourself too much.

If you are looking at this you may see someone who has their hair and makeup done and dressed nicely, like they have it all together. I would like to believe that I do for the most part.

However, that’s not always the case. There are days and times in my life where I’ve gone through the toughest of trials, a lot of suffering and hardship, everything seems to be going out of control. The world just keeps taking its best shots at me and, with each blow it can get harder than the last to recover from. I have dealt with a fair share of struggles and many that you know nothing about, and sure I don’t promote it that much either. The truth is there’s always something behind the story that you don’t know.

ALTHOUGH, THESE WERE TIMES THAT I HAVE FELT MOST VULNERABLE AND KICKED WHILE I WAS ALREADY DOWN.

Surly, I believe in these difficult trying times – I can be resilient. I know I will get through this, I have every desire to face these days knowing tomorrow is a new one. I see it as a new opportunity, a chance at life to fight back and make a change for the better in what I CAN control. Although, these were times that I have felt the most vulnerable and kicked while I was already down.

There are also times when I want to be left alone, or scream at the top of my lungs “I AM GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME, PLEASE JUST LET ME BE!”
And contrary, when I just don’t feel like explaining myself to anyone. The only one I can turn to who can comfort me and knows exactly what I am going through is Jesus. I just want to give these heavy burdens to God and pray for him to help take on this burden with faith he will also provide the way of escape, that I may be able to endure it and overcome it.

As a result, in my darkest hours, people around me still may treat me the same way. They may still expect the same cheerful, optimistic, outgoing, productive, sociable Kristen. There was no room for a frown, an excuse, or a mistake. I must admit that every once in a while, I wish someone had cut me a break. There were days I didn’t feel like smiling, didn’t feel like being positive, and didn’t feel like producing.

All of us, and I say all of us, are going through something, something, at any given time. While we might not talk about it, show it, express it, that certainly doesn’t mean it’s not there and that it’s not causing real impact. We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being.

You may see those people on social media and the internet on their day to day life without a clue on what they are really going through. It can even be coworkers or the person at the grocery store ringing you up or your server at the restaurant. Life does not discriminate and the truth is, absolutely everyone goes through difficult or hard times at some point in their lives, even you.

It is so easy to think you know everything about a person purely because of the 5% of their life that they choose to share with you.

My biggest advice is to be aware that others go through pain, heartache, and trials, it is a reality of being human in this life, and many don’t choose to share. Being compassionate, humble, and kind can transform the world. Even if it’s just one person’s world, it makes a significant difference and impact. Truly life is too precious and short to hold grudges, don’t hold on to regrets, fears, hate, negative judgments or keep unforgiveness in your heart, those negative burdens will only weigh you down. Instead, it is wise to use righteous judgment to see that people just like yourself are in need of mercy, and love.

Compassion is a divine attribute, that is rooted deep in both love and humility. Compassion means to literally “suffer together” you feel the pain of the other person and are kind and caring towards what they are going through. Compassion leads you to have mercy and even forgiveness. The difficulty we may face with humility and compassion; it is selfless, you would need to recognize the suffering of others, then take action to help. You see their life and know you may not have the whole story. Just recognize that their trials, burdens, and sufferings are unique – even if you’ve gone through a similar experience.

“It is not always having opinions on someone else’s life. It’s recognizing that you don’t have the right to speak into every person’s pain and you may not have a solution for it. And it’s being okay with that.”

Being humble at heart is the state of humility. God says when you are humble, you are free from pride and arrogance. “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” — Proverbs 11:2. It is not always having opinions on someone else’s life. It’s recognizing that you don’t have the right to speak into every person’s pain and you may not have a solution for it. And it’s being okay with that.

Kindness is underrated, yet it is also so powerful. The smallest acts of kindness can bring the biggest blessings. It yields marvelous fruit both in our lives and the lives of those around us. “Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor” (Proverbs 21:21).

I can tell you it means the WORLD to me when another person displays such humble acts of grace and good character during a hard time, even when I may feel I don’t deserve it. Or perhaps that could be when I need it the most, that is so impactful and even compelling I cannot even describe with words the feelings it leaves me with. For those who are capable of these character traits, I have the utmost gratefulness and admiration.

2 Comments

  1. May 29, 2020 / 8:45 am

    This is so inspiring, keep up the faith!

  2. Ryan
    May 28, 2020 / 2:09 pm

    Kristen, this is such amazing writing. I’m so proud of you!

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